Have you ever had just “one of those mornings?” But they seem to last all week or even all month? I had endured a rough day yesterday of anxiety and I was really hoping for a fresh start today. I promptly answered my “God” alarm this morning on my phone with prayers of thanksgiving for yet another day to try again. I followed by a devotional that I was sure would lighten my heart but instead it just revealed another part of me that I just didn’t really feel like dealing with this morning. I didn’t start the day with dry eyes.
I got out of bed to find Child #1 had not set her alarm and she was still sound asleep and so of course, the race was on to beat the bus. I start making 1,2, lunches and I had promised the children a hot breakfast this morning. The sausage was greasy, the eggs were dry, and they all three wanted different things for lunch. I wasn’t proud of that one.
Then Child #1 says she lost the schedule we had painfully mapped out for next school year and that I had about 3 minutes to recall the plan and write it down because of course “it was due yesterday.” I didn’t handle that one with grace and mercy.
Child #2 woke up super early even though he’s the last child to leave the house and started in with his daily barrage of questions. Child #3 woke up with a disgusting nose and equally disgusting cough. As I’m putting the mediocre breakfast on the table bracing myself for the onslaught of complaints I see that at some point in the night the dog had crapped on the carpet. Joy upon joy. I can’t be sure anyone could see the love of the Lord in me at that point.
I race brooding Child #1 to the bus stop in the nick of time with both of our prides bruised. I run into the house to check my calendar and of course it’s locked and it won’t unlock. It finally does and I get a message from facebook that someone in Arizona (what in the world is going on over there) tried to gain access to my account. I received a couple of emails that with the first read through I have no idea how to answer. I’m past the point of trying to see the silver lining. I’ve been up for two hours and I’m throwing up my hands screaming “What the Heck!!”
As I was putting away the egg carton I noticed a little graphic on the inside of the lid. It was Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.” My first reaction was to smirk and think “way to go God, this is a great day. It’s gloomy outside, it’s negative inside, my hubby is gone, I’m tired, I’m stressed, I can’t think straight…and an egg carton, Really?” Then I was touched once again by “Be Still and Know that I am God.” God had me read it again and He softened my heart. And this is what I came away from my little egg carton.
Today I don’t have to have all the answers. It may not appear to be easy. The path may not seem to have much purpose or clarity today. In this world, from the perspective I have it may seem to be mundane and frustrating. But once again it’s not about me or me having all the answers or getting it just right. He’s not looking for perfection. He’s not looking for anything grand. He’s just looking for me. Even with egg on my face.