20 Early morning thoughts from an insomniac

Yeah. You guessed it. I’m not sleeping. Again.

It’s funny the things people say to me when they find out I’m in a non sleep cycle again. “You need to sleep.”—Well, yeah.

“What are you doing that is keeping you awake, stop it.”—If I knew that I obviously wouldn’t keep doing it. Like it’s my fault

“I don’t know how you do it.”—As if it’s some big accomplishment, EVERYBODY should do it.

“What do you do when you can’t sleep?” This one I can answer pretty well.

I toss and turn. I drink milk. I drink tea. I take sleep aids that don’t work. I wander. Sometimes I clean. I read a little. Sometimes I do laundry. Sometimes  I flit around on the computer. I stalk blogs. I pray. I meditate. But then it turns into mostly just me and my thoughts. My Constant. Raging. Racing. Thoughts.

So here’s a peek inside this brain tonight.

1. Did I eat? I wonder how many calories are in 4 cookies.

2. I should clean off my desk, oh look a coupon to the Melting Pot. I wonder if Robert would like to go this weekend.

3. Eric E’s baby just arrived. I wonder what she looks like right now. I wonder what his wife is thinking right now.

4. I would really like to go to New York with Heather. I wonder when I can go. I wonder what I should pack. I should probably go shopping. But wait, we’ll shop there.

5. Is tomorrow $50 off groceries at Shop n Save?

6. I can’t seem to finish this Emyth book. I’m a seemingly intelligent woman and it reads like gibberish to me.

7. Why am I so worried about raising 30K? I need to raise 300 freaking K!

8. I wonder if that boy I met today is ok. I think his name was Tyrone. I should have asked him if he had enough food.

9. What was that sound?

10. Jerry said the copier that’s being donated is big. I should really clear off my desk. I should really clean up the office.

11. My throat is killing me. I technically took those meds yesterday but that was really only 3 hours ago. Do you think it’s safe to take more?

12. Did I read that Casey had a bone graft on his foot? I didn’t even know he was having foot issues.

13. Highschool reunion coming up. Didn’t I say I was really going to start working out harder and eating better last month? Yikes. I’m fat.

14. I can’t believe one of my offspring got into NJHS. Em is so easy to parent. Sam and Alex need haircuts before Sunday.

15. Yikes! I haven’t done anything for Sunday. No baskets, no eggs, no lesson ready for Busy Bee. I need to get out tomorrow but I really don’t feel good and I REALLY won’t feel good after not sleeping.

16. Is Scout breathing? Poor baby

17. Awww, Robert did the dishes. What a good man. Wonder what is his travel schedule looks like. We need to make plans for Dallas.

18. DALLAS! I am so excited I can’t wait to see everyone and experience Catalyst again. I probably need to make some calls instead of relying on facebook

19. 30K and then make the jump to 300k. Lord???? Tell me how to do that.

20. Maybe I should try to sleep one more time. But I think I hear the dryer stopping and there is still this stack of papers on my desk…

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