This has been one of the more frustrating and least productive days of this month.Part of me really wants to rant and rave and whine and complain. I’m tired. I’m stressed. My chest is tight and my head is full of too many things to be processed. My to-do list just gets longer and longer. I want to cry.
But instead you’re going to make laugh and joke and snort soda through my nose.
So here’s the deal. You post the funniest thing you’ve seen, heard , smelled, or felt today in the comments and retweet this post. If you make me laugh, like side splitting , tears rolling kind of laugh I’ll donate $25 to your favorite charity. If you get gonged, well, the walk of shame will be long.
So play along, make me laugh, don’t let me stand here by myself with my $25 bucks flapping in the wind.
Go!
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The Rabid Mime 
This is a bad joke. I bombed on this joke in front of several hundred people. Literally, 250 people and no one laughed. Are you ready to groan?
A priest, a rabbi and a pastor walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?”
*rimshot*
You get a snicker. But if that’s all I get tonight then you may win!
My neighbor knocked on my door today to complain about our basketball hoop causing a build up of water in the gutter. I walked out on to our stoop to prevent any children from escaping. They all gravitate toward the door as soon as they hear a knock. So, she is yapping about mosquitos and such, and I notice her eyes drift to my bust line. She then hurried through a weak goodbye and left. I walked back in the house and realized that I had forgotten to fasten my nursing tank and was having a full blown wardrobe malfunction! So, hopefully my unintentional flashing of nipple to my elderly neighbor has brought you some joy!
Revisiting my early mom-hood experiences may not get you points but the fact you publicly used the word nipple in a joke earns major points. Thanks for contributing! We shall see!