I have a very rare syndrome called “calendaritis.” I have hot flashes, horrible rashes, panic attacks, raging headaches, and acid reflux when I can’t find my calendar, or if there are blank spaces on my calendar, or if there are not enough spaces on my calendar. I have one on my phone, one in my work bag, and the huge mamajama family one in the kitchen. I have to admit I have scheduling issues. It’s my golden calf.
I had to cancel a fundraiser for The Sparrow’s Nest this weekend. It was the one I was looking forward to the most but it just wasn’t meant to be. I had blocked out the entire weekend for last minute stuff, set up, clean up, etc. When I canceled it felt like I was in this big black void. What was I going to do? I actually had the “F’ word …*gulp…free time.
Well, that just wouldn’t do. I couldn’t have *stutters…f-f-f-ree time. So just minutes after canceling I texted my buddy Joe and asked if he and his wife would like to go out with us on Saturday nite. And thus it started. I started filling in every minute of the three days I had originally blocked off for the fundraiser. Before you could say “Xanax” I was insanely, comfortably stressed about this weekend. I felt freaked but oddly energized by my co-dependant relationship with my calendar.
Of course all it took for me to come down off my scheduling high was a raised eye-brow from DH and a little whisper from God of “Ahem.” It didn’t take much for me to see this blessing in disguise this time.
Because I am tired.
I am weary.
I could be approaching burn out on possibly the biggest thing God has placed in my life since marriage and children.
And I know deep down I need Sabbath. I need rest. I need to relax before I have a stroke. I need to be creative and messy to rejuventate. I need to be stinky and unwashed in my jammies and sweats all day. I need to read something besides non profit leadership. I need to take a nap on the couch with a ballgame on. I need to turn off my computer and my phone and lose my car keys. I need to wrestle with my boys and snuggle with my girl. And then I do need to go with my DH and good friends and laugh and talk and eat really good Turkish food.
Today, I’m running around pretty typically with my head cut off but just to get ready for tomorrow. We need paper plates and plastic cups. We need donuts, frozen pizza, ice cream, and popcorn. The weekend calls for manicures and hot chocolate. I need a lock for my phone and computer. You get the idea.
How are you going to rest? What tips you off that you need some serious planned down time?