I’m just a big cry baby

It’s not quite 9 a.m. and here’s my first pile of kleenexes of the day.

It’s a bit of an understatement to say  I can be  emotional.

I put on a good poker face, I can be pretty hardcore, but get me in my car 10 minutes after an altercation and my eyes are leaking.

But I also cry when I’m happy. I cry when I sing. I cry when I’m mad. I cry when I’m frustrated. I’m definately going to cry when other people are crying. I cry when I laugh too hard. I’m just a big cry baby.

I hear myself saying a lot to myself  “Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.”

My dad always told me I needed to have thicker skin, but I don’t.

I’m in a season of life where I have absolutely no control. My intellectual side sees the plan and the lay of the land but my emotions are so intense it’s just stupid. I can have a victory at 8 a.m. only to be crushed at 3 p.m. It’s a crazy roller coaster. Did I mention it’s just plain stupid? I’m raw.

But today I’ve decided that God has made me this way so I don’t end up with an ulcer or become an axe murderer.  I’ve been working diligently to make sure there is nothing from my past or present to hold me back from my future. I’ve asked this gentleman God to invade every part of my heart and mind.

It’s scary. So of course it makes me cry.

But it’s beautiful. So it makes me cry.

And it’s painful. So it makes me cry.

But I love God. So it makes me cry.

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes,

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