I seem to constantly strive for homeostastis.
Or leaning a bit too much this way or that.
But hardly ever balenced.
I get the nutrition down but fall apart on exercise. I’m highly productive but abandon my family. I have time for friends but fail to build new relationships. I am reckless but fearful.
I have strong faith but lack real prayer.
This is where I am today. I realized in the last week or so I choose not to interact with the Holy Spirit. I think my lack of understanding has caused me to be a chicken. I pray for knowledge but turn away from godly wisdom. Again, where’s the homeostasis?
I can actually wrap my head around God’s love for me. I can gratefully accept Christ’s sacrifice for me. But yesterday, I finally confessed through tears and a shaking voice that I am afraid of the Holy Spirit. I don’t get it. But I went ahead and fearfully I whispered to the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the plans I desire.
I’m out of whack with The Trinity.
This entity makes me questions have I really received God’s message, have I accepted the Holy Spirit? (Acts 8:14-17)
But yet I see the Holy Spirit has done everything that needed to be done for everyone to be perfected.
Can I really ignore such a force as the Holy Spirit?
Do I live in “prayerful expectancy” for the desires of my heart? Do I really want to be led by the Spirit into the things He is revealing?
Have I not accomplished the desires of my heart because I am still trying to be self-led instead of God-led? Am I allowing the Spirit to make it possible for me to do what I need to do?
Am I rejecting a gift from God by not exploring the fullness of my faith?
Have I lost this precious insight granted to me by my Father by not only guarding it but I pushing it away as something meant for other people?
(2 TImothy 1:13-14)
How has the Holy Spirit revealed itself to you? How do you wrap your heart and mind around the Trinity?