Why I Am Staring At A Fish Called Zen

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. to pray.

By 5:30 a.m. I thinking racing thoughts like 

I need to make this scalable.

I need to figure out how to make that revenue sustainable.

This data is not being tracked and I’m getting close to losing its value. 

By 6:30 a.m. I was making the mental lists of 

1. Go workout

2. Buy and deliver Alex’s cupcakes at school

3. Pack

4. Grocery shop for dad coming this weekend

5. Finish laundry and start packing for vacation

6. Make schedule and get cash ready for Nana for next week

7. Register kids for… call teachers about…email music instructors…

Blah, blah, blah

By 7:30 a.m. I was sporting a full fledge migraine. I blame it on the weather but I think my mouth sores might have another interpretation. 

It’s now 9:15 a.m. and with the aid of my migraine meds I’m staring at my goldfish whom today I have nicknamed Zen.


Stress and time management are interesting beasts. I find myself muttering  “I need more time to do so and so”. I’m having this inner debate whether to take my computer on vacation next week. And if not, shall I leave my phone as well. I really like being busy. I’m more anxious when I have to sit still. I hate time wasters. I really want more time. It’s a commodity I value the most. 

Yet the passing of it causes heart palpitations. Not having enough makes the inside of my mouth look like a small pox epidemic. My head is pounding. And I’m still not doing what I want to do. 

I’m waiting for time to pass so my meds will work so my headache will subside so I can start the whole thing over again. It’s a wicked circle. 

But you’ll be happy to know that me and Zen are enjoying 30 minutes of wait time over a cup of coffee and starting intently into each others eyes. 

How do handle time induced stress?

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