For some reason I let the grief and fear come tonight.
I’ve been trying to shut out what happened last Friday in Newtown. I couldn’t bear to look at the tiny little faces. I didn’t want to see parents grieving through this awful nightmare. I didn’t want to think of up-opened Christmas presents under a tree.
I wanted to be numb to the horrific events.
Because I have a 6 year old.
I have a 6 year old that has been putting me through the ringer lately. He’s constantly in trouble at school, on the bus, at church, at home. We’ve had to discipline and punish a lot. And it’s exhausting. And I’m out of creative parenting skills. And to be very honest it’s been a relief to put him on the bus and send him to school.
I have a 6 year old who can’t pass up a stick outside or a mud puddle.
I have a 6 year old sings songs about poop.
I have a 6 year old who’s room is always in an absolute state of wreckage.
I have 6 year old who thinks it is hysterical to fart as many times as possible during bedtime prayers.
I have a 6 year old who loves to mimic people to the point of insanity.
I have a 6 year old who cannot possibly walk holding hands, he has to jump off every curb and stone.
I have a 6 year old who’s idea of good time is destroying large towers of blocks.
I have a 6 year old that complains about vegetables incessantly.
I have a 6 year old that whines without hesitation every time he’s suppose to turn off the TV or video games.
I have a 6 year old who has not slept through the night in his own room for three months.
But I have 6 year old who is alive, and breathing, and healthy, and vibrant, and is looking forward to Christmas and wants to be a police officer or a fire chief or a pizza delivery guy depending on the day. And I embrace all of his persistent annoying habits, discipline issues, and uncontainable energy as an absolute gift.
So it was really hard to explain to my 6 year old why Mommy was crying for other 6 year olds tonight as we read the nursery rhyme “There Was A Crooked Man” before bedtime. It was difficult to speak to why other mommies and daddies are probably crying over their 6 year olds tonight. I couldn’t tell him why I watch the bus leave with him a bit longer now. I couldn’t tell him why I wait for the bus to come home with him a little earlier now. I couldn’t tell him why I get people debating gun control and mental health issues. They’re all just trying to find their way to control the grief and fear we all have.
I have no way of wrapping up this post. Just to say hug your annoying kids a little tighter. Don’t give up praying for your little boogers. Take all that life has to offer and always look for joy. Especially in little 6 year olds.
2 thoughts on “Because I Have A 6 Year Old”
I totally understand, I couldn’t wait to get home Friday to my 8 and 6 year olds.
It sounds like you are an awesome mom. Hopefully our nation can come together and embrace the metaphysical backdrop, which is God, that our country was founded on. Blessings to you.